Brides, brides, brides (le sigh)….my heart goes out to you. No matter how large or small of a wedding you’ve planned. It always ends up being a little or in most cases more than you planned. Making seating charts will usually ensue the validation of alcohol or a binge worthy meal because you ‘deserve it’ (which you do!) for accomplishing such a task. Even couples planning intimate weddings find themselves thinking should be doing more, so they find ways to make stress for themselves #sorrynotsorry. I totally understand wanting to have the day you always dreamt of, but pretty please don’t pull your hair out. I can’t stress enough the importance of hiring professionals that know what the heck their doing just to keep you at ease.
So just for giggles I Googled what couples biggest concerns are on their wedding day and other vendors take on wedding planning. WARNING: I came across a website that blew my mind and I will try my best to not go on a rant. (Sidenote: WEDDINGWIRE 2018 Newlywed report gives HUGE insight to wedding statistics)
1. 10 minutes can make or break your day- Want a sure way to freak a couple out? Here ya go!! Unless you’re having a royal wedding or you’re Jennifer Lopez in The Wedding Planner. Just disregard this bit of advice. Ten minutes will NOT ‘break’ your day.
2. Don’t forget a box for cake- You have bigger fish to fry, Honey. Don’t worry about the top of the cake. You’ll still get to eat it a year from now regardless of forgetting Tupperware. You don’t have to remember every teeny tiny detail.
3. Photographers are wrong about first look- “Damn, Gina!” Considering a photographer spends more time with you than anyone on your wedding day. We don’t selfishly tell you to do this because we desperately want you to. I’ll touch base on this later.
4. Ignore your fairytale – My jaw dropped. It literally dropped. For all I know, you could have dreamt of getting married in a royal castle and though that may not be possible. You could still find a freakin sweet castle and have your fairytale wedding there! Girl, Bye!
So getting back on track from the least helpful bits of advice I could find…..These are some things I’ve gathered through e-mails from couples and newlyweds that I think could be helpful in the long run.
STICK TO YOUR GUNS
This is such a touchy subject…and I hope I don’t get a nastygram from your mom. However, You’re planning ONE DAY of your entire life to marry the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Don’t compromise on how you envision that day. It’s so easy for plans to escalate. WeddingWire stats showed that couples underestimated their budget by 40%. Is it cause or affect? I can honestly say that stress from planning a wedding is generally brought on by feeling the need to please family or friends. It’s great you’re considerate…. but do what makes you happy.
DON’T JUST ASK FOR PRICING
This makes me sad. I understand every wedding has a budget. I really do! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sent an investment guide to a couple that I knew was just window shopping and never heard anything back from them because they wanted the cheapest deal. Guys, value your photographers. Get to know them and ask questions. Vibing is so so important. Your photographer is with you more than anyone else on your wedding day. After the cake is eaten, flowers have wilted and your guests are gone. You’re left with the captured moments that last forever and are cherished for generations. I’ve heard married couples say that they spent money in other areas of their wedding and totally regretted it, because they didn’t even get a photo together! Can you imagine?
GO UNPLUGGED
Maybe you’ve seen it? The photos where the photographer is trying to get a beautiful shot of the bride and groom down the aisle and Aunt Sally brought her iPad to record the whole thing and is right in the shot OR everybody is sticking their arms out trying to take photos of the bride walking down the aisle. My point here is that you paid someone good money to capture timeless professional photos. Consider going unplugged and asking your guests to keep electronic devices away for the ceremony. This is a great idea for a couple that may have wanted a really small wedding and opted for a larger one instead. It’s a way to keep a really intimate vibe knowing that your guests are in the moment with you.
COVERAGE AND TIMELINE
I love touching base on this because I think my response generally catches couples off guard. Now in some circumstances a wedding day may go on from early morning to late night and couple will want all day coverage. However, some couples look for all day coverage because they feel thats what they should be looking for regardless of their timeline. I’m just gonna be real. You probably don’t need 10-12 hours of coverage. Sit down with your photographer and talk about your timeline. 7-8 hours of coverage is usually great! This is usually what I tell my couples to consider:
-Getting Ready: If I’m a one woman show and I am seeing both bride & groom. 30 minutes for each is really about all I need to capture little details, mingling, putting on dress etc… and about 45min to an hour if I’m just spending time with the bride, because we can! 🙂
-Ceremony: Whether you’re having a catholic ceremony that is an hour long or short & sweet vows outside. Always consider your guests! Are you doing a receiving line? Are you crunched for time and would rather talk to your guests at the reception? I tell my couples that if they don’t want to do a receiving line then they should find a place to hide and take a few moments to themselves to enjoy the jitters. Otherwise, it could be taking time away from other portraits that have to happen before the reception.
-Family Photos: Easy peasy! I work off of a shot list we build together for family portraits. It could take anywhere from 10-30 minutes MAX depending on how much family you have and the variations you want. However, I always recommend that you keep the shot list to immediate family. Anyone else we can get organically throughout the evening.
-Reception: Two hours is generally what I recommend. If you’re keeping it traditional. All the big stuff happens within the first hour. Your introductions. First dances. Speeches and food. Then I like to catch an hour of dancing. However, times are changing ladies and gents! Some couples are doing away with introductions and the cake cutting and just keeping it more casual. Others are even doing backward weddings where they party first and have their ceremony by moon and lights.
FIRST LOOK
I did say we would come back to this! If you’re already leaning toward it because you want to stay away from tradition. Awesome! But I do think there may be some photographers out there that will push couples toward doing a first look because it’s trendy. The only time I will try to sway a couple to reconsider is if their timeline doesn’t allow a lot of wiggle room and they don’t want to miss cocktail hour (like reception immediately following ceremony). By doing a first look it allows more time for bride and groom portraits. It lets you get out the pre-wedding jitters and it’s just a really sweet moment to be together. Some couples even get ready together and help each other get dressed for the big day. It really adds a completely different dynamic and makes for really intimate moments.
I’M NOT GOD
I’m not Bruce Almighty or Alanis Morissette. I can’t play God. There are some things that are out of my control. I can’t control if it rains or if the sun is blinding. I wish I could give you the weather of your dreams for your wedding day, but sometimes it’s just not in the cards. But I can only work off of how you’re reacting to the situation. It helps me know my limitations. I know every couple is TERRIFIED of rain on their wedding day, but it’s really not that bad. If you’re having an outdoor ceremony, maybe even write in your invites asking that guests bring an umbrella if the forecast is calling for rain. How cool would it be to look down the aisle and see tons of colorful umbrellas?! I always keep a few clear umbrellas in the car with me for portraits, but my suggestion is to accept it’s a possibility if you’re having an outdoor ceremony and embrace it. Go barefoot and feel the wet grass between your toes. It’s part of your story and you won’t to look back and think ‘Man, I wish I was more present’.
Side story: Ryan and I got married on top of the 5th highest peak in NYS. It called for rain at the exact hour we were having our ceremony, but we were sticking to the time regardless. We said that if it happens then it was meant to be.
PLANNING YOUR PINTEREST WEDDING
We all love Pinterest. I have a board for just about everything from gardening to tiny homes and recipes I’ll never try. I’m sure your wedding board is beautiful, but allow room for your own creativity. 1.) Hopefully you hired your photographer because you love their creative eye. By handing over a board and showing them exact poses. You’re putting your photographer in a box. Which makes your photographer feel like you don’t trust them. Let them do their thing. They’ve got your back 😉 2.) An outdoor California coastal wedding can’t always be styled like an indoor wedding in Arkansas. No offense to Arkansas! It’s just the first place that popped in my head.
KEY SHOT LIST
I’m sure you’ve never had to make one before and that’s okay! It’s not really your job. It’s ours! If you want your family photos to go really smooth and you don’t want to have to worry about missing any portraits with family when you get your collection. This is the only time I recommend a key shot list. After booking a couple I send them a questionnaire and I work off of that key shot list for family photos only. It’s quick, efficient and is so so good for any kind of timeline.
BE A CREEPER
You know you’ve done it. It’s in your DNA and now is the time to use your creeping abilities to your advantage. Our generation is all about technology and everyone is showcasing their best work on their website, Instagram and Facebook. And if they’re really smart they are letting you into their daily lives on Instagram stories and writing about whats important to them. Look for it ALL! Whether it’s a photographer, DJ, the person designing your invitations or a wedding planner. Be a creep and find out if you even like them and their style before you even contact them.
